Reality Strikes...

Well, Chris has been gone for just over a week and reality is starting to sink in, I miss my husband!!! I am totally strong enough to do this, I'm strong enough, I'm strong enough... If I say it enough it will become a true, right? Chris and I have been apart before, but I have never been a mother before. It is so different being alone with a baby. Thankfully my situation is not permanent, but at this moment in time 5 more months seems like an eternity.
My sister in law has told me that she got through the exact same situation I am in by counting down to special events. Erin, I am counting down your visit! I can't wait for Owen to meet his Uncle, Aunt, and Cousins, but even that is so far away! (Amber, have you booked your flight? I need as many dates to count down to as possible!).
Also, it isnt like I am alone, alone. I have my parents and my younger brother. But no husband is no fun. There is a void, and every morning when I wake up, every time Owen smiles or does something new, everytime I look around... I miss him. Awwww. I know, i'm lame. But do me a favor, don't judge until you have been in my shoes. Erin, I guess that means you can judge.

Chris is doing amazing. He misses us, and I know it is true because I can actually hear it in his voice when he says the words. Before it was just "miss you too", now it's "I miss you and Owen so much". But thankfully they keep him very busy so his miss us moments are usually countered by "RCMPdom" :) Something new is always taking place. Our calls are quick, but are FILLED with much excitement. For instance, Chris has already recieved and has been wearing his uniform and today he got his gun. In true Chris style he calls me and says "guess what I'm holding?", "my gun, its awesome". I am not certain, but I will assume that when an RCMP cadet is handed his or her gun reality sinks in for them as well. Sooooo much responsibity! Being an RCMP officer is no easy task. Lately when I think of that I always think about something Scott (a friend from Ottawa) wrote on a frame for Chris "...Thank you for your service". We dont thank our RCMP members enough. We are so quick to criticize and agree with the media's portrayal of the RCMP that we forget that these men and women risk their lives to keep peace in our communities, they risk their own lives to ensure our safety, these fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, friends, etc put all they have on the line each and everyday. That reality also struck when Chris said he was holding his gun. Guns save lives, but they also take lives. Chris' new job will be nothing like his old job - sitting behind a desk on the 4th floor of the health canada government building what was going to happen? A paper cut? ...

Reality can be a funny thing. We all have different realities. We all believe our own to be true, and they are, for us. My reality is my husband is an RCMP cadet and my brother is an officer. They are hero's. Thank you for your service!!